2010

oh yeah it almost 2 weeks holiday. woo time goes so fast ya, i still need holiday indeed :'(

well according to the date, today is the last day 2010 and i end clean up the house and get mad over a little things, yes i am really bad mood. ugh~

everybody has made what they done this year and what will they do in year later 2011 but not yet me

this year is extremely busy enough to make me have only a little time to breath.

well this year started with 2nd smester in ITB. a hard, tough 5 months. being KSEP 2009 in Januari, having a mid test in March (and not so so good) a busy time to keep up the lesson and end with a bad chem test. f! a hard and most tiring orientation in UKSU yet quite happy. and i just spend the 2months holiday June-July accompany my mom in Penang, Malaysia because of her sick and continue in Jakarta so i almost rare to go outside playing and fooling with my schoolmate and others close and old friend. and a hard 5 months to make sure my dad about my choice- continue my major in ocean engineering- which is full of arguments. well he does that to me after all for my future which he taught i will be more successful in civil engineering (he has many friends who work and succeed in civil major) and finally i get his permission. and started my life on new friends new environment that called Ocean Engineering.

next 5 months in my new life i was happy yes i am happier here. eventhough it feels hardly yet i almost interested in the subject, that shows to me again how amazing my God is, put me to the place i desrve i enjoy and i could. this 5 months i can't manage the times between academic and organization. i have to choose what unit i wanna stay for longer. and how i manage those with my orientation time in this smester. i'm weak this smester i'm so easy to get tired and feel depressed either from academic or the social life. but after all it gives me an experience. this year taught me many things. that is it. even if it was hard it was also a good year. i feel i am more mature in this year.

thank you to the people who has supported me in this year, to my parents, my siblings, my church friend who always strengthen me and pray for me, my bestest friend since junior high school and those who i met in senior high school later become my closest friend, to my TPB friends and to my unit's friend to my new family in ocean engineering and especially to my lovely amazing super hero God, Jesus. big thanks to you all. and God bless us in every ways every steps we take.

the feeling

One word: I MISS YOU

special sisters

that picture was made by Yessica Gloria, TI 09 (on the left up) so, last 18th December my dearest Bible mentor (on the left down) was having a birthday and i didn't greet her properly because that day i was having a hectic day, well said it an amazing race day with Jalapati. and i even didn't properly read her text message for celebrating it together last tuesday. i went home from bandung last monday because my mom blabbering me for not going home because those 'himpunan' event who takes my time big enough to forget many things. and i'm deeply sorry to my mentor and my special sisters for not coming. i totally forget until my mentor call me in the morning while i was out, buying a breakfast and i'm already at Cinere :(

i'm so sorry and Happy Birthday once again Kak Tasha, our love always be with you :)

them

woke up at 8 a.m and my dad quite mad, he taught i had slept so late last night but it wasn't. My self is the one who still needs some sleep. And maybe because i'm so happy yesterday spending a whole day with my family :)

and today i have to go to hospital to visit my bestfriend's daddy. First i wanna go alone by my own car because till 9a.m my brother and my mom haven't arrived at home from Gonzaga (my brother's high school located in Pejaten) but i canceled that plan. I still afraid of driving a car alone on a highway like Pondok Indah, oh fyi the hospital named RSPI (Rumah Sakit Pondok Indah).

they arrived at 9.45 a.m and my dad still blabbering my brother because his try out so bad. when i arrive i was greeted by my two bestfriends who have come earlier. :') so glad to meet them. then going upstair by lift to vip room 4301 (woa i still remember) I still don't believe after a very long time well it was about 4 months, finally we meet at hospital. this is worse. :"( and i'm a bit sad seeing her dad is sick and thinking about my dad. we are no longer a kid, and when her dad said in his eyes we are still same still an elementary school student. hahahaa those time my tears almost drop.

suddenly i realize how many years have been passed? how many times we have gone through? we, 5 of us (including one who studies at Holland, Christanty) who meet at Church for the first time when we were about 7/8/9 years old and now we are scholars. no longer kids, no longer teens, we are almost adult. no longer cry baby no longer fooling around but not yet ready to be an adult. no matter how far we are apart no matter how long we didn't meet but we still try so hard to meet to chit chat. Guys i'm so glad i have you all. thank you for always accepting my bad attitude, my unstable mood, my lost and thanks to always be my best refuge, be the place to share and cry on everytime i feel so stress so depressed, be the place to be myself. thank you :')

fear

what i feel right now? fear. my score. my GPA. and i don't know what to say. i'm afraid. really. God i beg You to help me, ease my anxiety. :"(

her pain

If i had something i could do to cheer up and help my bestfriend right now. Jesus please bless her :"(